What if our relationship with God was never meant to be another thing on our to-do list?
We live in a world that celebrates productivity. We measure our days by what we accomplish, the problems we solve, and the difference we make. Even our relationships can become centered around what we do for one another.
And sometimes, without realizing it, we bring that same mindset into our relationship with God.
For much of my life, when I experienced something meaningful in my relationship with Jesus, my immediate thought was, What am I supposed to do with this?
If I learned something beautiful, I wanted to share it. If I experienced something profound, I wanted to teach it. If God revealed something meaningful to me, surely there must be a purpose, a message, or an assignment.
And perhaps sometimes there was.
But over time, I began to discover something that changed the way I understood my relationship with Him.
What if the experience itself was the purpose?
When Doing Becomes Our Identity
As a therapist, I frequently encounter people who struggle with feeling that they are enough.
They work hard to be good spouses, parents, employees, friends, and Christians. They carry responsibilities, meet expectations, and strive to become better versions of themselves.
Yet beneath all that effort, there can be a quiet belief: My value comes from what I do.
Sometimes that belief follows us into our spiritual lives.
We pray, study Scripture, attend church, serve others, and try to grow in our faith. These can all be beautiful expressions of love for God.
But what happens when we begin to experience our relationship with Him as another responsibility to fulfill?
What happens when being a faithful Christian starts to feel more like performing than belonging?
Discovering the Gift of His Presence
Some of my most meaningful moments with God happen in the desert.
There is something about the quiet, the open sky, and the stillness that invites me to simply be with Him.
No agenda. No lesson to prepare. No spiritual accomplishment to pursue.
Just His presence.
For a long time, I thought moments like these needed to produce something. Perhaps a new insight, a message to share, or a deeper understanding I could bring into my work as a counselor.
But slowly, my perspective began to change.
I started to recognize that I didn’t have to turn every beautiful experience with God into something useful.
I could simply enjoy Him.
And perhaps even more importantly, I could allow myself to be loved without doing anything to earn that love.
Abiding Instead of Striving
In John 15:4 (NLT), Jesus says:
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you.”
I love the simplicity of that invitation.
Jesus doesn’t begin by asking us to accomplish something extraordinary. He invites us to remain connected to Him.
Of course, our relationship with God will influence how we live, how we love, and how we serve others. But those things can grow naturally from our connection with Him rather than becoming the measure of that connection.
There is a difference between serving God because we are loved and striving to serve Him so that we might feel worthy of love.
One grows from relationship. The other can grow from fear.
And for those of us who have spent much of our lives trying to be good enough, that distinction can be deeply freeing.
Learning to Simply Be
This idea extends beyond our spiritual lives.
In counseling, we often explore the importance of healthy attachment, emotional safety, and relationships where people feel accepted for who they are rather than what they provide.
Think about someone you love deeply.
Do you always need them to accomplish something for you? Or are there moments when simply being together is enough?
Perhaps it’s sitting quietly with your spouse, laughing with a friend, or watching your child enjoy an ordinary afternoon.
The relationship itself is the gift.
What if we approached our relationship with God with that same freedom?
What if prayer could sometimes be less about asking and more about enjoying His company?
What if we could sit quietly without needing an answer, a revelation, or a plan?
What if we could simply be loved?
An Invitation to Rest in His Love
If you find yourself constantly striving, whether in your relationships, your work, or your faith, consider giving yourself permission to pause.
Not to accomplish something through resting.
Not to become more productive afterward.
But simply to experience the freedom of being present.
You might spend a few minutes in prayer, take a quiet walk, sit outside, or reflect on a passage of Scripture.
And instead of asking God what He wants you to do next, perhaps ask yourself a different question:
Can I enjoy being with Him without needing anything from Him?
I’m discovering that some of the most beautiful moments in my relationship with Jesus are the ones where nothing needs to happen.
There is no assignment.
There is no performance.
There is simply love.
And sometimes, being with Him is enough.
Wesley King, LCPC