The Dilemma of Self-Care
Self-care.
It’s become a trendy term – self-care. We are all supposed to understand and prioritize it. One click of the term “self-care” on a search engine will prove, however, that there are as many definitions and interpretations of the term as there are websites describing it. Most of us know when we need it, in some way or form, but at this time of year when our calendars are packed and there aren’t enough hours in the day, how do we address our need for self-care without feeling like it’s just one more chore to add to our to-do list?
Self-care is typically defined as providing appropriate levels of attention to one’s own physical and emotional/psychological wellbeing. In the most general of terms, it means taking care of yourself so you can remain healthy and able to accomplish what you need and want to do in life. Self-care is a form of self-discipline that asks a person to evaluate priorities, nurture one’s mind and body, and balance respect for ourselves with respect for others. Self-care is not pure indulgence or seeking to escape responsibilities. Self-care should be more than just relaxation. It might include exercise and diet changes but also taking a nap or reading a book. The truth is that self-care involves good boundaries and finding the balance between that which recharges our batteries and that which depletes them.
Finding time for self-care is not easy, especially during the busy holiday season. Learning to say “no” without feeling guilty is one step that many of us need to start doing. We typically feel obligated to do things when we are asked, but often we do so to avoid pushback or to avoid disappointing someone else. It is honorable to do our best to be there for others when we can, but if that little voice is telling us to take a pass, good self-care at least considers the possibility that we need to say no and instead focus on some recovery time.
Another self-care approach that will help us through the holidays is to understand that even a short time to recharge can be extremely valuable. We have to avoid telling ourselves we need to take a lengthy period of time to ourselves for it to matter. Try planning even just fifteen minutes to do something relaxing or even just close your eyes when you have a few moments to focus. Finding a short but deliberate time to relax or recover from the stresses of life is a much more doable prospect than seeking an impossible stretch of time in a busy life. Give yourself permission to take a deliberate break, even if it is “short but sweet.”
Choosing to address the personal need for self-care is not unbiblical. To “love your neighbor as you love yourself” suggests that you should love yourself, and perhaps even that taking care of yourself is a necessary part of loving others. It does not mean we need to take solo vacations or spoil ourselves with things that exceed our budgets to engage in good self-care. Setting a healthy plan for reinvigorating and refreshing our hearts, minds and bodies honors our Creator and allows us to give our best to those around us.
During this hectic season, thank God for the opportunities to serve others and to take care of the amazing creation He has made in you!