Practical guidance from the Renewing Life Center
When someone says, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” it can be difficult to know what to say. September is Suicide Awareness Month, and before the month slips away from us, we want to provide some practical tools to navigate this very real subject. You may feel afraid of asking the wrong question or unsure how much responsibility to take on.
You do not need perfect words to begin a caring conversation. You can listen, ask directly about suicide, and help the person connect with support.
Recognizing when someone needs support
Pay attention to changes in what someone says and how they behave, especially following a painful event or loss. Statements about hopelessness, wanting to die, or feeling like a burden deserve a caring response.
You may also notice withdrawal, goodbyes that feel unusual, or increased distress. You do not have to wait until you are certain something is wrong to reach out. The 988 Lifeline offers guidance for recognizing concern and helping someone else.
Try opening with a specific observation:
“I’ve noticed you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How are you really doing?”
Give the person time to answer. Your willingness to listen can make room for a more honest conversation.
Asking directly about suicide
If you are concerned, ask clearly:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
It may feel uncomfortable, but research shows that asking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or behavior. A direct question can help someone share what they are experiencing.
If they say yes, you might respond:
“Thank you for telling me. I care about you, and I want to help you get support.”
Listen without arguing, expressing shock, or making them feel guilty. Avoid quick reassurances such as “Everything will be fine.” You can offer hope while acknowledging that their pain is real.
Knowing when to get immediate help
When someone shares suicidal thoughts, help them connect promptly with a crisis counselor or mental health professional. You can offer to call or text 988 together. You can also contact 988 yourself when you are worried about another person.
If there is immediate physical danger, an attempt in progress, an injury, or an overdose, call 911. Stay with the person if it is safe while help is arranged. Do not put yourself in danger or try to physically intervene around a weapon.
You do not have to determine the level of risk on your own. When you are unsure what to do, seek crisis guidance rather than relying on reassurance or waiting for the situation to become clearer.
Making a safety plan with professional support
A safety plan gives someone specific steps and contacts to use when suicidal thoughts return or become stronger.
The Stanley-Brown Safety Plan is developed collaboratively with a clinician. Its six core steps address:
- Personal warning signs.
- Coping strategies the person can use independently.
- People and settings that offer distraction.
- Trusted people to ask for help.
- Professionals and crisis services.
- Ways to make the environment safer by reducing access to lethal means.
A useful plan reflects the person’s actual life: whom they can reach, what helps them cope, and where they will keep the plan. Completing a form alone is not the full intervention, and a safety plan does not replace emergency care.
Faith can accompany care
For people who draw strength from faith, prayer and spiritual community can be meaningful sources of comfort. Ask what would feel supportive rather than assuming.
“Would you like me to pray with you while we connect with help?”
Suicidal thoughts should never become a reason to shame someone or question the strength of their faith. Prayer can accompany counseling, medical treatment, and crisis support. Seeking professional help is compatible with a life of faith.
Following up matters
Support continues after the first conversation. Agree on a specific time to check in, and ask whether the person connected with care.
“How did the appointment go?”
“Is anything making it difficult to get the support you need?”
Ongoing contact can play an important role in suicide prevention. Help the person build support beyond any single relationship.
Caring for yourself while helping
Supporting someone through a crisis can bring up difficult emotions. You may need support, too. Speak privately with an appropriate professional or trusted leader, protect the person’s confidentiality, and set realistic boundaries around your availability.
You can care deeply without carrying every outcome.
If you would like to explore ongoing counseling, contact the Renewing Life Center at 702-434-7290 to discuss available services. For urgent support, call or text 988. For immediate danger or a medical emergency, call 911.
Whether you are reaching out for yourself or someone you love, you do not need to have everything figured out before asking for help.
Samantha Winters, MBA, LMFT