The Great Escape, Part One
If you are being abused, this is for you.
If you know someone who is being abused, read this for them.
A few months ago, I wrote about the jailor and of course, the prisoner (click here to read it). This blog is the first of several installments about your (the prisoner’s) escape. This installment assumes two things:
1. The abuse is acute (going on now).
2. You have a few moments to yourself to read this.
What you are about to read will offer direct, immediate actions to take that can help to keep you safe and get you out of the line of fire.
I urge you: Don’t doubt yourself. I promise there is nothing you could ever do that justifies being abused physically, emotionally, mentally, or sexually.
So, what should you do?
· If you are injured in any way (cuts, bruises, scratches), go to a hospital or urgent care and have them CALL THE POLICE, or CALL THE POLICE yourself. Once the police are there, answer their questions honestly and follow their instructions.
· Do NOT cover up for your abuser or withhold important details. If you do, it will only reinforce your abusers’ sense of control.
· If you are NOT injured, go to a trusted friend’s house (same gender as you) and DO NOT share your location or plans with your abuser or anyone who might give out the information.
· Remember, your abuser is a professional manipulator.
· In the absence of a trusted friend, consider one of the organizations at the end of this blog OR ask the police for advice (they generally have a division or trained officers to offer advice in this area).
· Gather resources. Go to an ATM and withdraw cash to support yourself until you can stabilize your situation. Get a ‘burner’ phone. Remember, your abuser will use technology to track your movements and gain access to those with whom you are communicating.
· Turn your phone off, change the number and have the memory of the phone restored to ‘factory’ to remove any tracking software. DO NOT USE SOCIAL MEDIA – communicate with everyone one on one.
· As soon as you can, file a restraining order. If you have a car, make sure the title and registration is in your name. (This is less important. It’s included here because this is a major asset and you’ll need transportation to keep or get a job. This is only if you are in possession of the car at the time of your escape. DO NOT go back to your abuser’s location to get your car).
· Don’t give your abuser any more control. Remember, an abuser’s goal is NOT love – it is CONTROL. You cannot let that person control you any longer. So…
· Don’t go back. Being with your abuser again gives more opportunity for them to control you.
· Don’t “clean up” the story of your abuser to “keep them from getting in trouble” or “because I love him/her”. Remember, their abuse of you has nothing to do with love and everything to do with control. And if you try to protect your abuser, it will only serve to reinforce their behavior and keep us imprisoned to them.
Stay tuned – there is more to come!
“Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes” (Nehemiah 4:14b).
Resources:
· SAFENEST: https://safenest.org/get-help-now/
· Nevada211.org – OR – dial 211 on your cellphone.