Every September, we pause to recognize Suicide Awareness Month—a time to shed light on a topic that touches countless lives. The statistics remind us of the urgency:
- Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States.
- In 2023, over 49,000 Americans died by suicide, an increase from previous years.
- For every death by suicide, it’s estimated that 135 people are directly impacted.
- Suicide rates are highest among adults ages 25–34 and 75+.
- Men die by suicide nearly four times more often than women (although women attempt more frequently).
These sobering truths remind us why awareness, compassion, and support are so critical.
Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon, and they do not always mean that a person intends to act on them. They are a signal of deep suffering—a reflection that someone is overwhelmed, hopeless, or carrying more than they believe they can bear. Recognizing this truth allows us to respond with compassion rather than fear.
As a therapist, I reflect on my college training and recall immense fear around the topic of suicide. It was certainly a valid fear—the finality of the act, the immense pain and grief that it leaves behind, and the utter brokenness that an individual must be feeling to choose to take their own life. Over the years, that fear is still present, but my perspective has shifted significantly as I’ve learned what it looks like to sit with someone in their brokenness. I’ve learned that suicidal thoughts are just that: thoughts. They’re ugly, dark, scary intrusive thoughts that reflect a person’s emotional pain. When pain feels so daunting, suicide can seem like the only way to end it. But the truth is—there are always alternatives. As clients learn and practice new coping strategies, while also addressing the root causes of pain, they begin to speak truth into those intrusive, dark thoughts and remind themselves that it’s just a thought.
How to Support a Loved One
If you suspect someone you love is struggling, here are some gentle, nonjudgmental questions you can ask:
- “I’ve noticed you seem overwhelmed—how are you really doing?”
- “When things feel unbearable, what helps you get through the moment?”
- “Have you been having thoughts about wanting to end your life?”
- “What can I do to be here for you right now?”
Ways to be present:
- Listen more than you speak.
- Avoid minimizing their pain or rushing to fix it.
- Encourage professional support—therapists, counselors, or physicians can help.
- Remove access to means of self-harm when possible.
- Reassure them they are not a burden and that they are not alone.
Supporting a loved one can be emotionally taxing, and it’s important to acknowledge that caregivers and friends need care too. If you are walking alongside someone who is struggling, make sure you also have a support system in place. Talking with a counselor or trusted friends can provide the encouragement you need to keep showing up with compassion and strength.
Coping with Emotional Pain
For those who find themselves wrestling with suicidal thoughts, there are healthier ways to cope with the intense pain:
- Delay: Remind yourself, “These are thoughts, not commands.”
- Reach out: Call a trusted friend, a therapist, or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
- Write it down: Journaling or letter-writing can help release emotion.
- Ground yourself: Try deep breathing, taking a walk, prayer, or mindfulness exercises.
- Faith and community: Many people find strength in Scripture, prayer, and supportive community.
It’s also important to remember that healing is not always linear. Some days will feel lighter, while others may feel overwhelming again. That does not mean you are failing—it simply means you are human. Progress often comes in small steps, and even the act of reaching out for help is a powerful move toward life and healing.
The reality of suicide is heavy but not hopeless. Suicidal thoughts, no matter how dark or intrusive, do not define who you are—and they do not have to win. Healing is possible. With the right support, hope can grow again.
Here at the Renewing Life Center, we are here to walk alongside you and your loved ones through the pain, offering compassionate care and Christ-centered counseling. This Suicide Awareness Month let’s remind one another of this truth: It’s just a thought—and it doesn’t have to be the end.
If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (available 24/7) or contact Renewing Life Center today at 702-434-7290 to connect with a therapist who can help.
Samantha Winters, M.B.A., LMFT