Loving the Others Behind the Wall
I live in a neighborhood that has large concrete walls between the houses. My hairstylist and his family live on one side; a lovely retired couple lives on the other. I adore them both but it has honestly taken an act of congress to get to know them. I see my hairstylist more at the salon than in the yard. (Because I have to look over the wall like Wilson on the old Home Improvement show with Tim Allen!). It is nothing like where I lived in Chicago two decades ago – mostly due to the lack of walls and fencing there, which allowed us to wander between yards and host games and slip-n-slide parties between our homes. It was a treat we appreciate even more now that we live between walls.
It is disappointing that we live in a society where our neighbors can remain strangers to us. It is also sad that our current culture seems to encourage us to be strangers or even to be adversaries of those who do not agree with us. It seems that, according to the media, we cannot differ in our opinions about anything including religion, science, politics, or sports without becoming adversaries. The disconnect has created an environment where people are dehumanized by those who disagree with them.
What do I mean by dehumanize? It means that we stop seeing each other as fellow humans and neighbors and instead treat them as the opposition or the enemy. We do not want to see Wilson peeking over the wall to say hello – Wilson needs to keep to himself and out of our business, especially if he does not agree with our beliefs.
Loving the others beyond our four walls is harder than ever. It is challenging to even meet them these days, let alone care about them. But we have a great opportunity. We can help create the change our society needs in this area by starting with our own mindset and self-talk. We can reframe our perspective on those who disagree with us by remembering that they are our neighbors and potential friends, not enemies.
Loving those around us does not mean we have warm fuzzies about everyone we meet. It begins with a recognition that the dehumanization of those around us does not make this a better world to live in and gives us anxiety, stress, and negative perceptions of those around us. Recognizing where the negative cognitions about others have invaded our thinking and practicing kindness toward those around us, even the ones we disagree with, helps us bring about the change we want to see in the world. For those of us who are Christians, this is not only a suggestion but a Biblical command. What a blessing to know that loving our neighbors as we love ourselves can change our entire culture!
In this time in our nation’s history, let’s not buy into the emotional and societal turmoil of our antagonistic culture. Let’s rise above it and see our fellow humans as the beloved children of God they are, whether we agree with them or not.