Boundaries
Boundaries.
How does that word make you feel?
For many, the word creates a negative connotation that conjures up images of lack and limitation.
Why? Why is it so challenging to embrace the concept of boundaries as a barrier that can lead to serenity and freedom?
Boundaries are guardrails that keep us safe from negative outcomes and harsh consequences. We live in a society where boundaries are not only underappreciated but also underdeveloped; where justifying divorces and broken relationships seems more common than putting forth the effort necessary to develop healthy, happy relationships that glorify God.
As Christians we are called to a lifestyle not natural to the flesh that craves immediate satisfaction. The Christian lifestyle is based on biblical principles established on a supernatural level that leads to a sustainable peace – a peace that seems so unattainable on a secular level.
On a secular level we often raise children or guide youth with the concept of boundaries to keep them safe and help them grasp the concept of right or wrong. As adults we can become resistant to this same concept of boundaries. If we’re not careful we rebel against the guidance of others as we approach a stage in life where we feel independent and often invincible against destructive decisions. We can easily justify why healthy boundaries that seem applicable to others are not necessary in our own lives.
However, we often overlook the reality that, on a psychological level, our thoughts create our behaviors, and our behaviors become habits that either build or break down our integrity and character. Based on these factors we recognize the strength or demise of our own well-being and relationships. God created us to be in relationship with one another. We are wired to crave connection and intimacy. However, without proper boundaries, society and our fleshly desires can lead to a path of destruction. Connection can become challenging at times; relationships can feel burdensome; marriage can feel like a struggle.
You’ve heard the saying, “The road to hell is paid with good intentions.” Good intentions with no action lead us nowhere. This concept is not new; it is presented in the bible with the story of King David and Bathsheba. Well known for being a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22), King David made choices based on his lack of boundaries, leading him to a downward spiral of destructive behaviors. Like us, King David was not invincible. His sinful actions could have been avoided by implementing the boundaries that he thought did not apply to him as king.
God understands that the demands of life can wear us down. He has instilled wisdom, knowledge, and experience in Godly people who can provide practical guidelines and advice to help us create loving, healthy relationships in a society where the odds can seem stacked against us. No one searches for an affair, but we must be cautious and aware of the choices that can often lead down this dangerous path. God wants us to win in a world of defeat – He wants us to prosper and glorify His kingdom.
We must be conscious of our thoughts and behaviors to avoid the societal norms that lead to turmoil. We must close doors that can lead to unhealthy relationships or unfavorable consequences. We must learn to strengthen connections within marriages that reflect and honor God, and we first do this by establishing and implementing those seemingly dreadful boundaries that will undoubtedly lead to serenity and freedom.